June is the month for Men’s Health Awareness; a time to highlight and address general and mental issues faced by men. Traditionally, there is still some stigma around men’s mental health issues. Studies suggest that owing to the stereotypical ‘tough guy’ persona, men are less likely to see a primary care doctor, or seek help for mental health issues. Although the issue of Male Depression is seldom addressed, it is more real now than ever. Statistics show that less than 50% of men are likely to exhibit forms of vulnerability, for fear of being called ‘weak’. 

Social norms have defined what it means to be “a man”. For some men this may mean:

1. Showing no fear.
2. Handling tough situations alone without seeking advice or help.
3. Showing no visible signs of pain.
4. Physically taking out feelings of frustrations or anger on people close to them.

WHAT IS DEPRESSION?

There are various types of Depression. Find some below:

1. Clinical Depression.
2. Persistent Depressive Disorder. 
3. Major Depressive Disorder. 
4. Bipolar Disorder.
5. Bipolar 11 Disorder.
6. Postpartum Depression. 

Furthermore, Depression is a serious mental state in which the way a person acts, thinks, and handles their daily activities, is affected negatively.  

CAUSES OF MALE DEPRESSION:

It may be difficult to point out a general cause for depression in men due to differences in life experiences, and other personal factors. For some people, it may be loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, consistent abuse of any kind, work-related stress, loneliness, divorce, etc. Additionally, men can develop depression for any reason. The fact that the cause is unknown does not invalidate the feeling or state of depression. 

SIGNS OF MALE DEPRESSION:

Studies have shown that 1 in every 8 men, is more likely to be dealing with depression. And, there are several indicators; physical characteristics or actions that point to male depression. Here are signs to look out for:

1. Irritability or constant outbursts of anger.
2. Constant acts of hostility and aggression. 
3. Constant fatigue and a general disinterest in usual activities like work, play, etc. 
4. Low self-esteem.
5. Difficulty in decision-making.
6. Reliance on substances and alcohol. 
7. Loss of sexual desire or appetite. 

Arguably, the above signs may manifest in almost everyone. However, if you discover that they appear often, then you’re most likely dealing with depression. 

HOW TO HELP:

If you believe that a male friend, family member, or your partner is facing depression you can do any of the following:

1. Intentionally inquire about their welfare: most men are less likely to open up about their emotional state, but through striking up an intentional conversation, some of the indicators listed above can be noticed.
2. Offer validation i.e compliments and encouragement: a simple “I appreciate all you do” can go a long way.
3. Let them know that it is okay to take a day or days off. You can also go further to suggest relaxation activities. 
4. Delicately suggest therapy or advice that they see a medical practitioner or speak to a trusted mentor. 

If you are facing depression, speak with a psychiatrist as soon as possible,

Sadly, the discourse of men’s health is not as emphasized as women’s health issues. This is because oftentimes, these conditions are trivialized. It is also due to the fact that more men are less likely to seek medical aid until the very last minute. Though men and women are at risk of encountering similar ill-health conditions that have to do with reproductive, sexual, cardiovascular, and hormonal issues, men face less life expectancy than women. Therefore, consistent medical checkups and early detection is of utmost importance. 

While it is necessary for men of all ages to take care of their health, there are some conditions that men above forty (40) should beware of. These are:

• Prostate Cancer
• Hypertension
• Diabetes
• High Blood Pressure
• Erectile Dysfunction
• Coronary Heart Disease
• Lung Cancer
• Osteoporosis
• Depression/Anxiety

Fortunately, most of these conditions have curative measures when detected early. As a result, here are significant test/screenings that men over forty (40) should take periodically:

• Cholesterol Check: this test is to determine how much cholesterol is in your body. A little is alright, but research has it that the higher the cholesterol level, the greater the risk of heart disease. According to the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the advisable duration to get cholesterol level checked is every four to six years. But for those with a family history of heart disease or diabetes, the test should be done more frequently.
• High Blood Pressure: Despite that everyone should have their heart blood pressure checked from time to time, men who drink alcohol excessively, smoke, are overweight, face a lot of stressful conditions with little to no physical activity, are at an increased risk for this condition. It is also more rampant in men along the ages of 64-75. This test should be done annually.
• Prostate Cancer (PSA): Prostate Cancer is one of the most common conditions faced by men above 35, and arguably the most dicey. To ascertain the risk of Prostate Cancer, the PSA (prostate specific antigen) test is recommended at least every 3 years. This starter test is done to ascertain how much of the cancer causing protein is in the blood. After the standard PSA, seek your doctor’s advice on the next step.
• Osteoporosis Screening: Osteoporosis is a common type of bone disease. It is characterized by weak bones, or joints. Men who are 50 and over are advised to undergo this screening every two years.
• Eye Exam: research suggests that this should be done every 1 or 2 years for men over 45, and a Retina Exam if you have diabetes.
• Diabetes Screening: this is another common condition whereby the body can not regulate the amount of sugar in the body. The screening is done based off of family history; if you have a history of diabetes, the tests should be undergone more often than the standard 3 years interval. 

Subsequently, below are some preventive measure that can be adopted:

• Avoid tobacco intake
• Avoid excessive alcohol intake
• Eat a healthy diet
• Frequent exercise (more cardio)
• Avoid stressful conditions
• Get enough sleep and rest

Self Care is fast becoming one of the most talked about subjects in recent times. More and more people of middle to advanced age groups, are giving in to the different activities that define Self-care. Although a school of thought believe the movement to be selfish, given to its name, some others believe that intentionally imbibing certain habits, is in fact, a way of showing love to oneself. 

Wellness experts, psychologists, even doctors advice that most Self-care activities help deal with the stress of daily living. The more you these activities are part of your routine, the better your general well-being. 

All the de-stress exercises in the world may not be completely effective until taking care of yourself becomes a habit. 

Most times, when Self-care is mentioned, pursuits like skincare, spa dates, solo dates, come to mind. These are definitely different ways we can spend our time, with excellent results.

But here are also 5 other inexpensive forms of Self Care:

1. Smiling & Laughing Often

As minor as this may sound, it is very important. Research has shown that a simple smile can act on your body and mind in amazing ways, offering benefits for your health, your mood, and even the moods of people around you. 

It’s interesting to note that you don’t have to wait for a trigger. Even when things are not looking up, laugh out loud. 

A way to achieve this is to keep your mind on things that encourage you, whatever or whoever that may be. Also, avoid negativity. Frankly, you don’t have to be aware of everything that’s going on. If it’ll affect your peace, you’re better off staying off of it. 

2. Saying ‘NO’ (avoid people pleasing)

A quote by Claudia Black goes thus: “saying no can be the ultimate self-care”.

You can be a kind, generous, loving person and still say ‘NO!’. With no explanations given. By all means, do go the extra mile. Make time for your family, friends, and partner. Show up, and as much as you can, show out.

However, if the situation gets in the way of your beliefs, principles, values, be courageous enough to decline. 

3. Being Kind To Yourself

Unfortunately, we can be both our biggest cheerleaders, and our worst enemies. So you made a mistake. Big deal. So has everyone. Even the most ‘perfect’ of persons.

So you’re not where you want to be yet. Big deal. Man’s needs are insatiable.

What’s to say that that’s the job you were supposed to be doing? Or the person you were supposed to be married to? 

Give yourself grace. Let go of what you can’t control. Learn to talk kindly to yourself. For instance: rather than asking “how could I have acted so foolishly?”, you can go “I did what I thought was best in the moment. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll do better. I can do better”. That’s self-care.

4. Practice Gratitude; own a ‘gratitude jar’

A form of practicing gratitude is to own a Gratitude Jar. This is an age long practice where little handwritten notes containing special events or experiences, big or small, are stored in a jar or container. It could be done daily, or weekly, or monthly. Any pattern you decide should be done consistently. At the end of the year, preferably the 31st of December, the notes are read out loud.

The essence of this is to remind you of your blessings throughout the year. 

When we are aware of our blessings, we’re more inclined to live in a constant state of gratitude. By taking the time to be intentionally grateful, we focus less on what’s lacking in our environment.

Research has it that Gratitude helps improve moods, builds positive attitude, and strengthens both physical and mental well-being.

5. Sleep

Think back to the last time you got as much as 5 hours of sleep. How did you feel afterwards? Restful? Revived? Re-energized? 

Developing healthy sleeping habits has many benefits, and has been proven to reduce the risk of long-term issues such as depression.

You deserve a couple hours rest, so give that to yourself today. Your mind, and body will thank you.

It’s engagement season! 

Every time you come on the internet, someone is kneeling down, and someone else is crying amidst screams of “say yes!” from friends and loved ones. We’re here for it.

We love to see the big smiles, and dare I say, teeny tiny tears in the eyes of both the gentleman and lady. These videos and pictures put smiles on all our faces.

With all the love in the air (even past valentine’s), we’ve put together a checklist to get you going on your nuptial planning journey. 

Yes, you summoned the courage to ask. 

And your partner agreed. 

Yes, your friends and family approve. 

And you’ve now secured a wedding planner. 

This is all great. But aside from venue, rings, and outfits, there are a few other important things you may not have put into consideration, as you get ready to say “I do”. 

This article will bring to light those things you may consider inconsequential, that could result in unwanted drama on your big day.

Guest Seating Arrangement

You may not know every aunt or uncle from both your families, but you wouldn’t want to seat people who are loggerheads next to each other. Even though they share a last name, chances are arguments may erupt from the mildest of things. And you’ll agree that public-settlement-of-age-long-disputes is not a great wedding aesthetic. 

The best way to go about this is to ask questions. Ask your parents about that aunt and this cousin. Inquire about how well they get along. Find out who gets along with who.

It’s safer to seat family members who haven’t seen each other in a while, together. From your end, you would see high fives, hugs, and laughter from shared jokes. This is sure to put everyone in a great mood.

Additionally, insist that your wedding planner, or wedding committee ensures that everyone seats at their designated spots.

Caterer Competence

I can’t stress this enough; just because someone recommended a caterer to you (family member or commercial vendor) with high praise, does not mean the food would be a 5-star rating. 

Believe it or not, I’ve come to know that one of the top reasons people attend weddings is for the food. After the wedding, everyone should still be raving about the food. 

Wondering how to hack this? Ask for a taste pack.

 Request for taste packs of all the meals that would be served at your event. They should be sent to you or your partner, before the big day.

Master of Ceremonies or Comedian

After the couple and the family, the next important person on your special day is the Master of Ceremonies. 

It really isn’t important if they’re famous or not. The focus should be on their ability to understand your vision, and capability in bringing it to life. 

Do you want a ‘black tie’, or formal wedding reception?

Maybe your vision is to put the audience in a ‘laugh and forget your sorrow’ mood.

You could want a blend of both. The best person to perform this miracle is the event anchor or compere. 

In order to avoid cringing every time you watch your wedding video, because of how unexpectedly the compere handled the occasion, do well to have a sit-down with one or more persons, for interviews and preparation. “Yes, he handled my wedding”, or, “weren’t you at my cousin’s wedding? She did a good job” would not suffice. 

Music Jamboree

Okay. Before you say “I already made arrangements for this”, let me share a story with you.

I once attended a wedding reception where the couple looked uncomfortable because the DJ kept playing songs they didn’t agree with. I wondered why they didn’t march up to the DJ and insist on their choice. It was later learned that the parents had chosen the playlist.

Although there have been occasions where the DJ or Band goes rogue even after being told what to do, those cases are very few. You and your partner can send your preferred playlist, or even explain your music mood/theme to the Band. Then from song to song, there wouldn’t be a single down moment at the ceremony. Need I add that it is of little consequence if your family or guests agree with your choice of genre? 

Truly, It can not be overemphasized how important the day is, but the most important thing is to have fun!

Ps, if there are things you think should be added, kindly leave a comment. It could help the next bride and groom.