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5 Things The Carters Have Taught Us About Love, Marriage and Infidelity

Ronke
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5 Things The Carters Have Taught Us About Love, Marriage and Infidelity

Beyonce and Jay Z Carter are undoubtedly the Queen and King of the entertainment world.

Individually, they have both managed to dominate their fields to the point that their names have become synonymous with everything their separate musical genre’s stand for.

Together, they have become such a force that the impact of their combined influence is enough to change mindsets and sway opinions.

The Carters are no MJs. The world will always hold Michael Jackson close to its heart. But the global love for the Carters was enough to have the entire world at the edge of their seats awaiting the birth of twins, Sir and Rumi Carter, so there must be something to say for the hold the Carters also have over the world.

But with all that love from so many all over the world, there comes an attendant scrutiny that seems to always follow every celebrity who’s worth being put on the “A” list. So it seems impossible to be at the center of all that fame and popularity in the way the Carters are and still be able to manage your personal business and life without having every part of your private shit become public news.

Yet, somehow, Beyonce and Jay Z have managed to do it, and here are 5 things they’ve taught us about infidelity, marriage and love that our non-celebrity selves can learn from.

1. No one is perfect; everyone falls: When the rumors of Jay Z’s infidelity began circling, people found it hard to believe. Not just because of who Jay Z is, but because of who Jay Z is with. Beyonce? You cheated on Beyonce? Who cheats on Beyonce? Women everywhere were heartbroken because the fact was if a woman as beautiful and talented and successful as Beyonce couldn’t get her husband to be faithful, what hope did any of us basic women have? But the truth is, no matter the man and no matter the woman he’s married to, no one is perfect, everyone falls. We’re all infallible, and that a man cheats is not a reflection of something his wife did wrong, but on himself.

2. Protect your marriage; Seek Help and Keep your shit private: This doesn’t mean ignore the problems in your marriage and even if your life is in danger as a result of domestic abuse you shouldn’t speak up, but rather than involving third parties or the entire world on your issues, get professional help. Beyonce and Jay Z went through counselling and were able to come out stronger on the other side.  

 

“[Beyonce] is my soulmate, [she’s] the person I love…We were never a celebrity couple, we were a couple that happened to be celebrities. We are real people.”

 

3. Find the person you love and hold on to them: During an appearance on The Van Jones Show, Jay Z says the reason he fought for his marriage with Beyonce is because, “it’s my soulmate, it’s the person I love. You can love someone but if you haven’t experienced love, and you don’t understand it and you don’t have the tools to move forward, then you’re going to have complications and you can either address it or you can pretend until it blows up at some point. For us, we chose to fight for our love. For our family. To give our kids a different outcome. To break that cycle for black men and women…We were never a celebrity couple, we were a couple that happened to be celebrities. We are real people.”

4. If you’ve done wrong, be ready to fix up!: Everyone falls sometime, but as Jay Z goes on to say in his interview, “The best apology is changed behaviour.” You can’t make excuses for your mistakes or try and explain them away. You have to own up to them and try and fix them.

5. If you stick with it, there’s something beautiful on the other side: The ultimate lesson I believe we can all take from the Carters is the fact that there is still hope on the other side. If you’re willing to put in the work, work on your marriage, continue in commitment with your spouse, every marriage that has gone through infidelity can heal again. And that is the most beautiful lesson we can take from that.

“The best apology is changed behaviour.”

Do you agree that there are things we can all learn from the Carters and how they handled their marital issues? What other lessons did we miss? Or do you think there isn’t really anything worth learning? Share your opinions in the comment box below.

5 Easy Ways To Kickstart Your FitFam Goals

Ronke
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5 Easy Ways To Kickstart Your FitFam Goals

The new year is all about making resolutions and setting goals. But sometimes sticking with those goals isn’t always easy. How many times have you told yourself you would exercise more in the new year? How consistently have you actually worked on getting those abs of your dreams?

You shouldn’t start working on getting that summer body ready a few months or weeks to the start of Summer. If you want your summer body ready and loaded by the middle of the year, you should get a move on right from today.

Here are five easy things you probably haven’t thought about doing to kickstart your fitfam goals and realise your #FitBody dreams.

  1. Have a partner: Life is always easier in twos. You’re always going to need a wingman. Whether you’re a guy in the club trying to get a girl to give you her number, or a girl in the club trying not to get harassed by a guy who would do anything to get your number, your wingman will make all the difference in determining just how successful you will be in your endeavors. So if you want to achieve all your #FitFam goals, having a partner or two to make you more accountable to your exercise routine and your diet is a big step towards it.

    Work out with a partner or more to keep yourself accountable to your goals.
  2. Set small, achievable goals: You might be tempted to go all out and reach for the moon with your #FitFam goals, but the key is to not take on too much at once in order not to end up overwhelmed. Set small, achievable goals for yourself and focus only on them for the duration you want to work on it.

    Photo by Lum3n.com from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/blank-card-earphones-empty-269610/
  3. Celebrate your successes: Lost 1kg today? Good job! Kept to your diet all week with no slip ups? Bravo! Don’t hesitate to give yourself a pat on the back when you meet any one of your goals, no matter how little it may be or seem. Celebrate your successes, you’ve worked hard for them and deserve to be proud about them.

    Cheers, you deserve it
  4. Record your progress: Make sure to take count of your little victories. Whether it is the number of steps taken every day or the number of exercise routines you have completed. An app will help you keep track, but you can also make notes in a diary or journal. Make note of your weight when you began, write your target weight down, and make note of the gradual progression as the time goes by.

    Have the vision and write it down!
  5. Suit up!: If you want to get into your #FitFam goals this year you’ve got to look the part. You can’t jog in jeans, or run with a lace brassiere with underwire. If you’re ready to take your fitness ambitions to the next level, you should invest in sports wear and gear that’ll help you make the most out of your workout routine.

    You can shop the full sports/exercise wear range at http://briefessentials.com/active Stay active, BE Active!

So there you have it. Five easy ways for you to kickstart your fitfam goals this year. Any other that we’ve missed? Please leave a comment below, and share with your friends or group of friends.

7 Quotes to help you achieve your fitness goals

Seun Tayo-Balogun
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Workout schedule or maintaining a fitness routine can be quite overwhelming. We have put together some thoughts to keep you motivated when you feel drained.

  1. Excuses will take you no where. Rather, it will take you farther away from your goals – because there will always be an excuse to not do something, and they will be valid. Choose to do it anyway despite the obstacle or the excuse, just find a way.

Making excuses burn zero calories

2. If you give up now, it means you will have to start all over again. By the way, you already know what it feels like to give up, why not try to see what happens when you don’t?

Stop giving up, you already know how that feels. When you don’t give up, you don’t have to start over.

3. Everything we do repeatedly become a part of us. The key to staying in shape as with many other things is to ensure those things that take us closer to our goals become a part of who we are.

Create healthy habits, not restrictions. Remember always, Fitness is a way of life.

4. They say, a journey of a thousand mile begins with a single step – this is so true. Just start moving, no matter how slow it seems, truth is you are on the move and you are way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.

 

However slow your progress may seem, you are still a step ahead.

5. Don’t knock yourself out by wanting overnight success, everything good takes time.

All great achievement requires time – Maya Angelou

6. You say you are busy, just keep this in mind, someone busier than you is working out right now, that same person is making out time to eat the right food.

Someone busier than you is working out right now.

7. Finally, be that person who decided to smash their goals – fitness, business, personal and so on. Stop procrastinating. Take action. Start today. Yes, right this moment.

Just do it.

 

Do you have any quotes that keep you inspired to workout? We will love to read them. Feel free to share below. xx

Why Michelle Obama is my Kind of Woman

Seun Tayo-Balogun
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0

michelle-3Glamour, style, intelligence and beauty, all wrapped up in one person. She is the epitome of grace. Being graceful comes to her naturally. She is beauty, she is intelligence, she is fashion personified.

If there’s anything she has taught us, it is the fact that there is elegance in being yourself, in defining your style, and in being comfortable in your own skin.

She didn’t follow the trend, she set her own trend. Her fashion statement was exemplified in her carriage and her choice of style.

She was not just another FLOTUS, she was different. She gave FLOTUS a life of its own and a one-of-a-kind meaning. President Obama did not mince words when he said,

I always knew she’d be incredible at it, and put her own unique stamp on the job. That’s because who you see is who she is—the brilliant, funny, generous woman who, for whatever reason, agreed to marry me.

She reminds me that simplicity is the ultimate elegance and that we should never try to be anyone else but ourselves. I will miss her. The world will miss her. Certainly, after being FLOTUS, she will continue to be who she is – intelligent, brilliant, funny, graceful – making a difference and living a trail where ever she goes.

Here are my 7 favorite styles and 7 of her most powerful quotes:

  1. Success is only meaningful and enjoyable if it feels like your own.
  2. We learned about dignity and decency – that how hard you work matters more than how much you make… that helping others means more than just getting ahead yourself.
  3. I never cut class. I loved getting A’s, I liked being smart. I liked being on time. I thought being smart is cooler than anything in the world.
  4. You see, at the end of the day, my most important title is still mom-in- chief; My daughters are still the heart of my heart and the center of my world.
  5. One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals.
  6. Find people who will make you better. Choose people who lift you up.
  7. I have never felt more confident in myself, more clear on who I am as a woman. But I am constantly thinking about my own health and making sure that I’m eating right and getting exercise and watching the aches and pains. I want to be this really fly 80-90- year-old.

I could not agree more with the caption below. She is magic.

The 100/100 Marriage

Seun Tayo-Balogun
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0

All husbands and wives have expectations of how the relationship should work. Often, they assume, “My spouse will meet me halfway.” Over the years we’ve heard couples talk about having a 50/50 marriage. “You do your part,” the thinking goes, “and I’ll do mine.” But while this concept sounds logical, couples who try to live it out are destined for disappointment. One reason why is that we focus more on what the other person is giving than on what we are doing. So we withhold love until the other person meets our expectations. Of course, it’s impossible to know if a person has ever met you halfway. As Thomas Fuller said, “Every horse thinks its own pack heaviest.”

Early in our marriage, we tried this plan. I would give affection to Barbara only when I felt she had earned it. Barbara would show me affection and praise only when she thought I had held up my end of things.

Contrast this with the type of love God shows for us. No matter what we do, He gives us 100 percent. He gives us love even when we don’t deserve it!

So I propose that couples adopt the 100/100 plan in marriage. Under this plan, each person gives 100 percent … no matter what the other person does.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

Mastering the Business of your Talent

MsDoyeen
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In life, your assignment will change

I started 2016 with great energy. I had to ‘blow’. My situation just had to change and I was determined to make it happen. So there I was running, faster than my mind, body and soul wanted to move. “Slow down,” quite a number of people urged. “For what?” I would respond with a look of disdain. “These people don’t want me to be great in life.”

Things were going okay until it all came crashing down in September. I broke down. Completely. Well maybe that’s bit of an exaggeration but I had to be placed on bed rest for two weeks. No work. No money coming in. I was miserable. When I stared at the bills at the end of the month, my heart sunk. I needed a new strategy. I needed to do things differently to bring in more income.

From the second week in September, I began to pray for revelation. God needed to show me the way out. I knew there was more. I knew it was possible to get clients who will pay six figures despite the recession. There had to be a way to connect with them.

It was at this point that I saw the promo for the Master Your Business Masterclass by Steve Harris. Immediately I saw that Fela Durotoye was a guest speaker, I knew I just had to be there. I have listened to several of his messages and there’s just something about his words and delivery.

Even though it was quite a stretch for me to pay the fee for the course, I took it that I was sowing a seed and I waited expectantly for Saturday 15th October to arrive. My expectations were high and I was ready for a shift.

I was not disappointed.

Fela addressed quite a lot of things I had been battling with. He started by telling us that if we fail to master the business of our talent, it means we have failed in our life’s purpose. Your purpose is important to God.

Every gift that you have, your unique traits and personality were all given to you by God so that you can fulfill your purpose. When you fail to master the business of your talent, you have essentially failed the exam of life.

Those were heavy words and I chewed on them thoughtfully.

Fela also told us how to ensure that we master the business of our talent. It starts first by being able to hear from God. Sounds so simple right? It is but this is something that a lot of people struggle with. God is always speaking but most times, we are too busy to listen to what He is saying.

While His purpose for your life never changes, your assignment changes per time and season in accordance with God’s plan. Being able to hear His instruction is therefore very crucial. Do you know what God wants you to do in this season or you are still running with the last instruction He gave to you, if at all you received any instruction from Him?

Are you aware that God is rooting for your success?

He does not want you to fail but He will never impose His will on you.

Take time out and be still in His presence. Find out exactly what He wants you to do with the talent He has given to you. Fela suggested that we should wake up by 3 am to pray and have quiet time. He said, “Try it in one week; you will notice a difference.” I’ve tried it for two days now and I have already noticed a difference.

Let God be at the centre of your success. Don’t rely on your ability or any other man. Don’t chase after money or fame. Place your focus on God. He will show you what you need to do to excel in the area of your calling.

AfriPads: The Social Enterprise That Is Keeping Young Girls In School

Seun Tayo-Balogun
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Necessity is the mother of invention, but change is the father of innovation. The need to proffer solutions to change situations is one that will keep fostering innovative products and businesses.

Social enterprises are businesses that manufacture products that solve a pressing social need, and nothing has been more pressing than keeping young girls in school as they try to get an education.

The Sustainable Development Goals four and five look at inclusive education and empowerment for the girl child, both of which cannot be achieved if more girls are staying out of school than boys; that leads to an imbalanced future and world and defeats the purpose of inclusive growth. One of the reasons more girls are staying out of school for days every month is as a result of lack of access to affordable sanitary pads during menstruation and the fear of stigmatization that follows from the use of improper means.

After discovering that need while living in a rural community in Uganda, Canadian couple, Sophia and Paul Grinvalds, decided to do something about it. In 2010, they began the local manufacture of AfriPads, which are reusable sanitary pads that are as cheap as they are hygienic. With the pads, more girls have been able to stay in school during their periods because they now have proper protection and the stigma from exposure or fear of exposure is gone.

Apart from the AfriPads being a cheaper alternative to the disposable ones, they are more sustainable for the environment because there are now less disposable pads clogging up landfills. The production of the pads are also done locally, providing jobs for up to 150 locals, most of whom are women.

In addition, partner companies such as Lunapads and Thinx, who themselves produce period panties; and reusable pads as a sustainable alternative to disposable tampons and pads, donate a percentage of every sale made to provide AfriPads to those girls who can’t afford it, to ensure that as many girls as possible are staying in school during their periods.

This is now more than just a social business, it is a movement. The saying goes that when you train a girl, you train a nation. AfriPads is doing more than just helping girls get good education, they are now raising a nation.

Social Enterprise: From Bamboo to Bicycles | Inspire Monday

Seun Tayo-Balogun
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Bicycles made out of bamboo are not entirely a novel idea. They have been in existence since the year 1894 when they were first patented in England by the Bamboo Cycle Company on the 26th of April. However, their use did not catch on as it was replaced with the development of tougher industrial metals such as steel and aluminium by bicycles’ manufacturers.

But with the advent of the green movement and the shift to more sustainable productions, bamboo bicycles have re-emerged and two Ghanaian ladies are using it to tackle poverty and unemployment in their country.

THE FOUNDERS:

Bernice Dapaah
Bernice Dapaah

Bernice Dapaah and Winifred Selby began the Ghana Bamboo Bikes Initiative to address climate change, tackle poverty, rural-urban migration and youth unemployment by creating jobs for young people, especially women, through the building of high quality bamboo bicycles.

For Bernice Dapaah, the idea to build bamboo bicycles in her home country of Ghana, began as a commitment project she had pledged to carry out at the Clinton Global Initiative University while also studying for a business degree.

Winifred Selby on the other hand, was only a teenager when she collaborated with Dapaah to start Ghana Bamboo Bikes. Her passion to build bamboo bicycles was borne out of a need to create a solution to the socio-economic problems in her community of which she had experienced first hand after having to sell goods as a young girl to put herself through school.

A few years after, Selby founded Afrocentric Bamboo as the profit-making arm of the initiative, and in addition established

Winifred Selby
Winifred Selby

a bamboo plantation to supply the raw material needed and keep up with increasing international demand for the bicycles.

She also earns extra revenue selling bamboo from the plantation, and is exploring the use of bamboo waste from production of the bicycles into charcoal briquettes as an alternative to using wood for cooking, thereby tackling deforestation on both fronts.

Through the process of building Ghana Bamboo Bikes into a social enterprise, these two women have battled numerous entrepreneurial challenges, which were most times exacerbated by being young and female. But the challenges they faced only motivated them to achieve more success.

Today, they define that success by the 35 people they employ and the 50 more they plan to  provide with jobs following a recent collaboration with a  local foundation in a mining community that will offer at risk youths employment as bicycle builders in the two new factories they are about to set up in the community.

female-mountain-with-rack-and-basket-ghana-bamboo-bicycle
Bamboo Bike. Img from marcjacobs.co

THE GOAL:

The Ghana Bamboo Bikes Initiative trains individuals on the production of the bikes and equips them to be able to set up their own small-scale production base in any part of the country.

Ibrahim Djan Nyampong
Ibrahim Djan Nyampong

Before Bamboo Bikes, Ibrahim Djan Nyampong was a struggling art dealer who sold art and craft materials to tourists visiting the arts centre in Accra, Ghana.

Today, he owns his own workshop building the bicycles made out of bamboo and employing/training ten boys who when their training is complete will go on to set up their own workshops and create more employment opportunities for youths in their respective communities.

The Bamboo Bike Academy of the Initiative teaches the manufacture, assembly and repair of the bikes to fit international standards. They also train women and young girls how to make the briquettes from the bamboo waste, firmly placing the company as an environmentally sustainable and eco-friendly green initiative and venture.

The Ghana Bamboo Bikes Initiative does not just tackle a handful of social, economic and environmental issues, it tackles nearly all of them. It’s programmes aim to change the face of the manufacturing and production sector of the African economy. If more Africans like these young women can be producers, makers and exporters of goods, more African nations can sit at the wider economic table and make decisions from it rather than being made to settle for the scraps tossed off it.

Inspire Monday: Nkiru Emodi, the Creative Lady Cobbler.

Seun Tayo-Balogun
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0

Nkiru Iyabo Emodi, a graduate of accountant from the University of Benin turned entrepreneur, makes bespoke shoes right here in Lagos.

Being unemployed after graduating and the desire to keep busy led her to learning how to make shoes. She is such a talented cobbler who pays attention to the small details. Today she is proud to be an ambitious lady cobbler. Her dreams are quite big, her tagline reads, ‘shoes for all nations’. She believes in being a three dimensional woman – an outstanding woman of many titles; an outstanding inspiring woman; and an independent woman.

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It is important that we understand that everything is possible. Our potentials are limitless, we only need to let the creativity in us soar. Once you start, you can only get better. Just start. We need more of the dreamers who will do. Well lovelies, anyone can cook… but only the fearless can be great.

 

Set Up Your Instagram Business Profile in 2 Mins.

Seun Tayo-Balogun
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0

Instagram recently upgraded their app that enables users convert to a Business Profile on Instagram and get access to new features like Insights, Contact information and promoted posts all from the mobile app.

If you have not noticed the contact buttons for your Instagram business account yet, here’s how to create your Instagram business profile. Be sure you are running the latest version of the Instagram app.

Business profile is a free feature for business accounts on Instagram. Business can choose how they want their customers to get in touch with them: call, text or email with a tap of the contact button as well as get directions to the business location. Business profiles also unlock insights and the ability to promote.

If you have a business account and you don’t see these buttons yet, here’s how to switch below:

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Step 1- Go to your profile settings and tap switch to business account.

 

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Step 2 – On the Connect your Facebook page screen, you’ll see all of the Facebook pages you’re currently administering. Select the the corresponding Facebook page. If you don’t have a Facebook page, you need to set one up. It’s a requirement.

Review business contact information as necessary. Tap done.

Screenshot_20160905-134957
Your new business profile should look like this – with contact details, location enabled.

***Please note the feature is gradually rolling out and may not be available to some accounts.

Once you convert to a Business Profile on Instagram, you’ll get access to Instagram Insights.

Instagram Insights will help you understand more about your audience on Instagram. It will provide information on your top posts, posts with the most engagements, who your followers are, when they are online and more. All of these insights will help brands know when it’s best to post online and what posts engaged followers the most.

20160906_170739

Each posts on a business page also has insights, that way you can see how each individual post is performing and the extent to which the post engaged your followers.

Business profiles also allows you to see how many people clicked on your link, the number of impressions you have and your total reach. All these can be done from the mobile app. According to a post on the Instagram business blog,

by learning more about the behavior and demographics of your audience, you can create more relevant and timely content

And I couldn’t agree more. By the way, if you’re looking to get more targeted traffic to your online store using Instagram as a platform, I recommend that you shoot us an email using the contact form.

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